Skopje, Sex, Serendipity No. 23

February 2, 2015 11:47 am
Quality sex is what your really need

Sex! Then maybe, Skopje, and obviously the serendipity effect of love at the very end. A constant need to exorcise or manipulate with that primordial urge that we have, meanwhile disregarding the last item on the invoice dubbed the Holy Trinity of the alliteration that is Skopje, Sex, Serendipity. Where did we go wrong?

It seems as though we started off just fine. Back in the day it was the other way around. Our folks loved each other, way more, I mean uber way more, and then loved our fine city, and only in the end did they mate for our sakes, because, let’s face it, we aren’t the fruit of Immaculate Conception. Those are the myths we’ve been served on the culture of the interhuman relationships in the capital of Macedonia and, who knows, maybe it was really so?! However, today, in the words of Whitesnake, or Bobby “Blue” Bland, if you prefer, “Ain’t no love, in the heart of the city!”

Inspired by a very powerful text on man’s obsession with sex I decided to give my own two cents on our own samples of a manchild and see if I can draw a parallel with women and their point-of-view on the subject.

The men of Skopje and the self-proclaimed-man-species that roam the city also crave some horizontal action. Their main motivation? To brag about it the other day and to tick the box in their she-used-to-not-give-two-shits-about-me-but-now-that-I-have-money-and-a-girlfriend-I-can-bang-her blackbook. Nothing pretty about this shit, just a sad excuse to be all manly about it. The sex is bad, unimportant, unnecessary, but the ego high is at its maximum, and that seems to be fine.

The classic moves work just fine. Find yourself a chickenhead that goes apeshit for you, that will immediately start taking her clothes off for you, that takes your shit, even when you are a Class One asshole and who is maybe even capable of forgiving you if you cheat on her, and you have it made! Next step, you go a huntin’. Target acquired. You’ve been humiliated by girls in the past, you’ve been marked by other Neanderthals as the guy that gets friendzoned, you are frustrated at work, at home, in your neighbourhood. It’s OK, buddy, it’s time to go and get some action!

Be the biggest creep that you can be and try your luck with any being that owns a pair of tits, be arrogant, don’t fail to mention that you got money and that you know people that get free shit for you, and if that works for you, then fine. If not, then take all the frustration you’ve so eloquently managed to accumulate and take it out on the chickenhead that is just waiting to be your booty call, and that desperately hopes to marry you, because in her eyes you are a catch, and tomorrow, all fresh and shit from the action you just had you can dust yourself off and try again. At least, you won’t reek of despair this time.

If, however, it works, then you are the man! Go brag about it in front of all you miserable dipshits you call friends and be the king of the hill for an hour. Sit down in the most popular cafe and point a finger at all the girls you’ve managed to get off your list. Quantity is key, here, because it’s the number of orgasms that counts. Don’t chase after girls when you are single, that way you won’t be able to get the frustration out if you fail. Don’t fall in love. Don’t you dare find meaning in sex. Forget about trying to please her. You’re not here for her, right?!

Women, for example, are also aware that sex is connected with power. The dumber ones (the aforementioned chickenheads) think that sex is the way to get the attention of the said assholes and earn their respect, while the more clever ones keep the manchilds waiting by not giving in (i.e. not giving it up).

“You keep him waiting for a couple of months, you give it up only once, he gets an ego boost, you tell him he’s the best, and then you disappear for a couple of weeks enough for him to go apeshit and to crave more, and then you tell him you are a stand up gal, that you need more than just sex, you hook up, and you don’t give it up for another 2-3 months so that he doesn’t even think of cheating on you, so that he starts eating off your hand.” – words of wisdom from the neighbouring table of a Skopje cafe on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Yeah, sure, power is a great thing, but only when it helps towards a quality type of life, a none of this shit will make you happy. If you are alone and you desperately want to bang something to boost your ego, then no dice. If you do manage to get some and it’s with a wrong type of partner then you are only going to have a craving for more sex, but that won’t fix shit. If you are in a relationship just for the regular sex by any means necessary then good luck with that, ’cause the only ‘fuck’ here is the fuck up that you will make in the end. Leave everything to passion and the natural flow of things; otherwise you are only going to end up being sadder and lonelier. Adios!

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