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What does it mean to be a human being? Is it the mere fact that you inherit human DNA enough to call yourself human? Is it humane to be human or does this statement baffle your puny brain?
I remember a time when modesty was praised as a virtue and did not equal stupidity. I remember a time when hard work amounted to paving the road to success, and not ass kissing. I remember… virtually nothing. My mind is now shattered by words of hatred coming from every-which-way, words of envy and regret, words of cheap mockery and contempt, words which poison one’s soul and exchange it for a few measly bucks laid on the sidewalk as a trap for a greedy man who can’t wait to stuff his pockets with a little paper.
And what, that should make us happy? On first sight the promise is overwhelming: money, fast life, women, trips around the world… but is that really what it actually is? I’ve always said that it takes a poor man to know the real value of money so that he can, in turn, properly enjoy them. The easy-come-easy-go type of man is the one that has no regrets and that has the best memories in life… up to the point when he gets married, and that’s the game changer, but we’ll get to that in a second.
“You dozed off again.” – said Hannah, and looked at him scornfully.
“Nope, right here. Just contemplating my next move.” – replied Victor and tried to get out of his inattentiveness.
“OK, what were you thinking about? Spill it!” – retorted Hannah, evidently ticked off by Victor’s excuse.
“Well, if you must know, I was thinking about that time when you cheated on me with that fucking ex-boyfriend of yours! Is that better?” – snarled Victor.
“You’re not gonna let that shit go, are you?”
“How the fuck can I? Please, by all means, enlighten me!”
“You do realize that it’s a very cheap shot to use that shit in every single fight that we have, right?”
“Fight? Were we fighting? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were, otherwise I would have used other examples to further strengthen my argument!”
“Or maybe, it’s your way to mask some shit that you are hiding, and turn the conversation to your advantage so we can end up having make up sex?” – grinned Hannah and tried to calm things down.
“Nice try, but it’s not gonna work this time around.”
“Why wouldn’t it?” – she said walking up to him and stroking his hair. “Why wouldn’t my strong and handsome man want to make sweet love to me?” – she continued and started to unbutton his shirt. “Are you saying you’d turn down sex just to stay angry at me for something that happened ages ago and we have already settled a million times?” – she spoke slowly unzipping his pants and putting her hand in his boxers.
“You are such a slut, you know that?” – Victor grinned, too, and grabbed her by the hair so he can get easy access to the neck area, his favorite place to attack. He bit her neck gently and grabbed her by the ass. He was hard in a matter of seconds and she started stroking him. He got up and nailed her to the wall. With one swift move he took off her miniskirt and her panties, pulled down his boxers and rammed her hard.
She moaned with a passion and sank her nails into his back. As he penetrated her with a steady pace he put one hand in her mouth. Sucking on his finger she was now completely into him and got wetter by the second. This was his cue. He grabbed hold of her again and not letting go he walked, while still inside of her, to the bathroom and placed her on top of the washing machine. Spreading her legs he started massaging her clitoris while still maintaining a steady pace. She squeezed her breasts and started moaning and groaning. That was his weak spot, and he knew he wouldn’t last for much longer so he, being the gambler that he is, went “all in” and picked up the pace. Chills came up and down her spine as she pulled her legs together wrapping them around his head and not letting go. That’s when he knew he could relax and shift to autopilot. There was no more holding back so he continued with the same pace and they both came together.
“What do you think about when making love to me?” Emma had asked a long time ago. “I don’t think, period,” replied Victor, “I just give into your eyes and I forget myself.” This was the sentence that echoed in his mind every time he’d have an orgasm. Sex had long since become just a beastly act of the flesh to him and he knew it. There was no more having fun, just brute mechanical force, well thought-of moves, calculated moments of passion and lust, and that was that. Smoke a cigarette, turn around and fall asleep. Just another one of his routines.
“So, as I was saying before being brutally, and vaginally, interrupted by your Majesty, I was thinking about an outdoor wedding. Nothing too fancy, just a nice…” – Hannah picked up where she left off.
“Sure, babe, whatever you need. Mickey will help you, I made all the arrangements.” – Victor cut her off before she had a chance to go into one of her monologues.
“You know this means the world to me, why can’t you just pretend to listen?”
“Because you know that have ADD for this type of things and I’ll end up wandering with my thoughts again, and we will end up fighting, then having sex again, and if that’s the case then we might as well give it another go rather than wasting energy arguing. Ha? Whattaya say?”
“Fuck you, that’s what I say. How’s that for an answer?”
“That’s what I was going for, actually.”
“No more sex tonight, asshole.”
“What kind of a girl do you want?” asked Emma on their first date. He looked at her in amazement, hi-fived himself in his thoughts for having picked such a bold girl to go out with, and gave the most honest answer in his life. “I like women that drink whiskey, smoke cigars, dance all night, party all day; beautiful breathtaking smile that enchants you in a second, eyes that tell a story, touch that completes it, lips that seal the deal. That’s the kind of girl I need.” Emma didn’t reply, she just smiled. And he smiled too, and he knew. They both did.
What is it that makes us fuck up a good thing? That makes us greedy for more? Is it society, is it because we are living in world that’s changing by the millisecond? Nah, that’s too easy and too good to be a valid excuse. Is it abandoning God? Many a people who claim to have a firm belief in His Word still go on doing bad things and stacking up wealth and not satisfying themselves with what they have. Then what on Earth is it? Or are we all built the same? I guess we are, it’s just that one person’s limit is another person’s starting point.
Looking back to that first date with Emma I now know that I had it all – a decent job as a journalist for a well-known paper, an amazing one and only gal who could have made me the happiest man alive and a promise of a child… a boy maybe, to carry on my name, or a girl, the second girl that I would ever fall in love with. But no, I chose the path to more money, fast life, easy girls and drunken shindigs. I chose to go home with Hannah, the Harlot that night. I chose not to wear a condom and to become the father her child…